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Ninja Parenting

Nobody told me when I became a parent that at the same time I was becoming a Ninja.  It never even really occurred to me really until I started watching Ninjago with my son.  After watching a few episodes I started to notice that ninjas perform a lot of covert operations using camouflage and stealthy movements.  Hey wait a minute so do I!  Here are some situations you might need to rely on your Ninja Parenting Skills:

1. Trying to get my kids to eat vegetables.  This is all about deception and camouflage.  The act of pureeing and hiding vegetables without the kids seeing me do it takes some skill.  You need ninja speed and stealth in case your little one comes in and sees you with spinach in the blender.  Because once they ask the question, “What’s that for”, you lose the battle.

2. Leaving the room after my kids fall asleep. Not only do you have to be quiet there are some ninja moves mixed in this as well.  Imagine if you will you have finally gotten your baby to sleep after an hour of fussing.  The last thing you want to do is wake your baby back up.  You slowly tip toe towards the door.  Then you hear a sound.  You freeze like a stature.  No more sound.  You start tip toeing again, then you see movement out of the corner of your eye, you immediately twirl and hug your body against the wall so you can’t be seen.  No more movement.  You head to the floor and crawl out as quietly as possible.  You made it!

3. Getting Birthday or Christmas Presents in the house unnoticed.  I think my kids have a 6th sense when it comes to sensing when presents have been purchased and are entering the house.  The ninja art of hiding and misdirection is very useful in these situations.  Let’s say your kiddo meets you at the door when you have a Target bag full of gifts for them.  First you must quickly hide the bag behind your back and then yell and point in the opposite direction, “Look, there’s Santa Claus”.  While your kiddo is distracted you ninja twirl and leap with the bag and put in on the top shelf of the hall closet.

4. Multi-Tasking.  The art of multi-tasking takes ninja balance and focus.  For example when you are carrying in 10 bags of groceries on one arm, carrying your child in the other arm and talking on your cell phone all at the same time that takes focus.  On top of that you can get your keys out and open up the door while sipping on a Starbucks Mocha Latte.

5. Cat like reflexes. The ability to catch your baby’s binky before it hits the floor or grabbing a bucket before your child pukes all over the carpet takes ninja speed and reflexes.  You must act even before you have time to think.

I am a Ninja.  Are you?


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